Grace & Hayden : Part IX
[Continued from Grace & Hayden : Part VIII]
Hayden, you ok? Am I hurting you? She asked.
No, he said.
Are you… Are you crying? She asked, looking at his wet eyes.
He dint say anything.
Are you dreaming about having awesome sex? She mocked.
He opened his eyes and looked at the naive Grace. He moved his t-shirt and showed something. It was a black bruise.
Oh damn. That’s a hickey. Hayden, that wasn’t me. I did not even bite. Grace said.
It wasn’t you.
Wait, was it Roxy. ? But I thought you guys broke up 3 weeks ago.
It isn’t Roxy.
Then who is it? Grace scanned through the list she knew of who could have given him the mark, which seemed like 3–4 days before. Until he reached a name, she dreaded to think of.
Hayden, was it …?
Hayden looked away.
Hayden, look at me, she looked at him in the eye and asked, don’t tell me it was Helen!
He nodded his head.
Grace’s entire body repulsed. And she moved away from him.
But I thought you were just thinking of asking her out only now. When did this happen?
A couple of days ago, we went out for dinner, and one thing led to another.
Wow, Grace said. To imagine that she seduced a person who was sleeping with someone else. To imagine that she let someone into her inner circle and that he would blatantly lie to her face. No, he didn’t lie, he just twisted the facts that were happening and chose to hide them. To imagine that she considered him a good friend and for him, she was just another random person. To imagine, she prioritised his pain about being hurt by Helen’s rejection when all the time, he already had things sorted. She had to get away from there. I am happy for you, Hayden.
Hayden lay there thinking what he had done. Why didn’t he stop what he could have? Why did he keep throwing challenges when he knew Grace would pick them. Why did he want Grace to seduce him? Why did he want to enjoy the shivers that Grace sent as she moved her hands and lips all around his body? Why did he not tell in advance that he and Helen were together? Why did he not just once tell Grace that Helen accepted when she said she was concerned about Helen’s rejection? Why did he let Grace go through that? What happened to his ethics. Who had he become? Was he falling for Grace or was it what he dreaded to think? Hayden sunk into depression.
Grace stood by a tree, tears flowing. She was crying voice out. Thankfully no one was around. The sounds of the stream drowned her voice. This was everything all over again. Her belief that the guy won’t hurt her. The guy pretended to be a friend just to sleep with her and knowing there was another girl mocking her somewhere. Everyone just saw her as a piece of meat to be savaged. No one respected her enough. No one wanted to be friends with her. This is how it always was. She hates it. She hates every part of it and wished the world down would eat her.
She couldn’t give her emotions the priority. For she still cared for Hayden and knew he would not be able to handle her having stormed off. She took a deep breath of air and headed back to the camp. Hayden was sitting out.
Sorry, I shouldn’t have stormed off. I just lost it. It was my mistake.
How’s it your mistake, Grace. He hated the fact the Grace now took the blame on her. I knew all along what was happening. I could have stopped it long ago. I did not.
No Hayden, it happened mutually. You like Helen, and now I feel like an idiot. It was a stupid experiment and a silly game.
Grace, you know I don’t apologize to anyone, but I am to you. I really am sorry for what happened.
Grace hated it even more when he said it. He was right. He never apologized to anyone. So why was he apologizing to her? She could sense he was saying because he knew something she didn’t know. And she was scared to find out.
They went back and forth about it for some time. But Hayden changed. He no longer was apologetic. He was elusive now. He couldn’t handle the guilt of having hurt her. Hayden was now desperately trying to find reasons to get angry at Grace. But no matter how much he tried, he could not find one. In a moment of desperation, he created one.
What are you feeling so bad about, Grace? Hayden asked.
Sorry, what? Taken aback by Hayden’s sudden indifference, Grace asked.
I don’t get it. Why are you feeling so bad? And why do you have that thread around your pinky finger that I playfully gave you yesterday? What are you feeling bad about? This was nothing right.
Really Hayden? You dare to ask me this. If you are fucking guilty for what you did, then tell me why did you do it? Was I all just this? Was there nothing real between us? We were friends I thought. So when did you think it is ok for you to encourage me when you are sleeping around with someone else. What are you angry at me for?
This anger in Grace’s voice was what Hayden wanted. This got things out that he had been holding within.
No, Grace. I am angry at myself. For throwing breadcrumbs at you knowing you would pick it. I could have stopped this, and I did not. I am fucking mad at myself for taking advantage and coming to this trip.
The fact that he was sorry and meant it, calmed Grace to a certain extent. Maybe, he has feelings for her too and he does not realise it.
She said in a calm tone, so Hayden, if you were throwing breadcrumbs, think about why you did it. There has to be a reason right. Secretly Grace hoped Hayden wound say he liked her.
Usgd and friw, Hayden mumbled.
What? Grace asked.
The need to accept what he did not want to caused Hayden to lose his temper. Looking her dead in the eye, he said, Use and throw Grace. That’s what this was. You were supposed to be ‘use and throw.’
[Continued in Grace & Hayden : Part X]
